


A Gesture of Love (or Project: Woo Rachel)

by babykid528



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-30
Updated: 2011-09-30
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babykid528/pseuds/babykid528
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris has the unfortunate task of wooing Rachel. Zach offers to help him. (PROMPT: This NSFW Comic - http://oglaf.com/balcony/)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_deep_magic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_deep_magic/gifts).



> **ONLY CHAPTER 6 IS EXPLICIT!**
> 
>  **A/N:** It feels like ages ago now, but the_deep_magic won fic from me in the  (back in JANUARY). She requested a Pinto AU based on [this (NSFW) comic](http://oglaf.com/balcony/). After months of working on this puppy, it’s finally ready. Don’t look for any historical accuracy or anything. This is a true AU. A completely made up kingdom. There’s a little Shrek/Star Wars/West Wing/modern day/Cyrano influence going on here… and quite a bit of Jane Austen.
> 
>  **Special thanks to:** high_flyer87 for reading through, correcting, and reassuring me throughout the writing process. And incredible thanks to my beta extraordinaire, karaokegal for helping me beat this fic into shape and for always being a really aggressive beta. I couldn’t have posted this without either of them!  <333 That having been said, any mistakes are mine. ;-)
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** This is made up of nothing but lies. All characters herein belong to themselves. I just made up the kingdom in the made up dimension with the made up plot.

The cavernous household was usually silent and stately. Robert Pine preferred it that way and no one, not even his wife, argued with him over that. Of course, when Master and Mistress Pine were hosting a party, the state of the house was an entirely different story. It overflowed with guests and noise. People laughed, danced, and chattered jovially and more than a little bit drunk.

Chris, the Pines’ son, was hidden out on a small veranda at the side of the house, alone with his thoughts and a glass of wine. The sun was beginning to set and twilight was enveloping the gardens. The crickets were coming to life and chirping along with the violins. Truth be told, this was one of Chris’ favorite places and one of his favorite times of day. Even the cacophony of the guests couldn’t ruin it for him.

“Christopher Pine, you sexy devil of a man, where are you hiding?”

Chris snorted as he turned to the owner of the booming voice.

“John Cho, have you been into the wine cellar again?”

“I am quite sure that I have been, yes,” John answered with a sloppy grin, eyes sliding shut for a moment.

Chris watched him, silently. John swayed on his feet and Chris was reminded for a moment of the young boy who used to spin circles until he was too dizzy to stand. John, Father Cho, personal favorite to Archbishop Abrams, was one of Chris’ oldest and dearest friends. Sometime, between the childish spinning and that very night, John had grown up to become not only a man of the church, but also a man of the bottle.

John stumbled over his feet before opening his eyes once again, continuing, “It is your father’s fault, to be sure…”

Chris nodded, lips twisted into a sardonic smirk, “To be sure.”

“He knows that red wine is my weakness and he insists on keeping a fully stocked cellar of it, unlocked, for anyone to enter, and then invites me to these parties and how could I not indulge—“

“Overindulge,” Chris corrected.

“—a little. Huh?”

“You’re absolutely right,” Chris said, taking another sip of his own wine.

“Ah, Chris,” John sighed, smiling, before swaying forward and wrapping himself bodily around Chris. “I love you, brother.”

“John?” A gruff voice called out.

Karl Urban, member of the Guard and nephew to the Duke of Greenwood, another of Chris’ closest and oldest friends, rounded the corner with Anton Yelchin, apprentice poet and playwright, on his heels.

“Karl!” John answered, tossing his arms into the air. He quickly turned and enveloped Karl in a tight hug. Chris took the chance to take a few steps away from John’s reach.

“I love you, Karl,” John mumbled into Karl’s shoulder.

Karl patted John’s back and rolled his eyes.

“I thought you were under strict orders to keep him from drinking tonight?” Chris asked Karl.

“I will not be kept like a kept thing, gentlemen,” John’s voice cracked as he half yelled, half mumbled against Karl’s shoulder again.

“The orders were incredibly strict,” Anton spoke up.

“I won’t, I won’t be kept, no,” John stressed again.

“Karl’s keeping a priest?”

Chris’ gaze shot over Karl’s shoulder to the newest member of their company, Zachary Quinto, the master poet and playwright whom Anton was studying under and Chris’ best friend since they were young children.

“I know Karl likes to do what he will, everyone else be damned, but I think doing the parish priest is more about damning himself than damning the man, don’t you agree?”

Chris grinned as Zach approached.

“Karl is a gentleman,” John assured them all while nuzzling further into poor Karl’s chest.

Karl heaved a weary sigh.

“If I was named Zoe and I was wearing yards of expensive fabric that I like to twirl in on the dance floor and if I was showing off beautifully smooth skin on my shoulders, _then_ Karl would be decidedly less of a gentleman…” Karl squeezed John tightly to end his drunken babbling.

Zach quirked an eyebrow at Chris. Chris raised his glass to his mouth to hide his smile.

“What are we doing out here anyway?” Zach asked.

“The usual,” Anton replied.

“Ah,” Zach nodded, “Looking for Chris then.”

John nodded most vehemently against Karl’s chest.

“Is it a sin to like the outdoors now?” Chris asked.

Zach smiled warmly at Chris, “It’s no sin, my friend, but your misanthropy just might be.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not,” John’s voice was muffled as he burrowed his face into Karl’s armpit.

“What are you doing?” Karl hissed.

Chris furrowed his brow and motioned toward Karl and John, “If this is what I have to look forward to if I socialize, that’s not much incentive to give up my solitude.”

Zach moved so he was standing beside Chris. He tilted his head slightly, his face a mask of amused horror as John actually sniffed under Karl’s arm, declaring, “You smell like cloves, Karl… it’s delicious…”

Karl struggled to push himself out of John’s octopus-like limbs while Anton gripped John’s hips, trying to pull the drunken clergyman away.

Zach winced. “Touché!”

Suddenly, a voice called out from the nearest hall of the house.

“Christopher, darling, where are you?”

Chris fought back a sigh before reluctantly replying. “On the veranda, Mother.”

Zach bumped his shoulder against Chris’. Chris shot him a look.

Karl and Anton had finally dislodged John from Karl’s torso and they were frantically trying to make him seem presentable.

Mistress Pine’s heels echoed across the marble floor as she stepped out onto the veranda with the group of men.

“Ah, gentlemen,” she beamed, “I see you have found my son for me.”

“Yes m’lady,” Karl answered as formally as possible while trying to restrain John from plastering himself all over Chris’ mother.

“Christopher,” His mother sighed, “You should be inside at the party, darling. Your father doesn’t approve of this behavior, you know.”

Chris felt his cheeks redden before dutifully nodding. “Yes, mother.”

Karl bowed his head to her briefly before he and Anton maneuvered John past her. Chris and Zach began to follow.

“Zachary,“ Mistress Pine called quietly, “If I could have a moment…”

Chris looked between Zach and his mother quickly, unwilling to reenter the party without his friend.

“I’ll only keep him a moment, darling,” his mother smiled, “Go on ahead.”

Zach nodded at Chris and Chris reluctantly moved back into the house without them.

The party was huge. Chris’ father was generally not one to enjoy large parties, but Chris’ mother did. And she liked them to be as large as possible. Mr. Pine usually stayed with a few of his closest friends, while Chris’ mother flitted around playing hostess. Chris was surprised she’d even noticed he was missing. He looked around nervously, swallowing the last of his drink.

“You seem to think the world will eat you alive if you ever allow yourself to be in it without Zach by your side,” a young, female voice lilted at him from behind.

Chris spun around to come face to face with Rachel, Master Nichol’s eldest daughter.

“Miss Nichols,” Chris’ voice broke embarrassingly as he rushed to greet her. He bowed clumsily.

Rachel grinned, “We’ve known one another since we were children, Christopher. You should really call me Rachel.”

Chris suddenly found it difficult to talk, or even swallow. He simply nodded.

“Good evening, Miss Nichols.”

Chris almost heaved a sigh of relief at the sound of Zach’s voice.

“Good evening, Mr. Quinto,” Rachel curtsied slightly.

“Well!” Chris exclaimed as he grabbed Zach’s elbow. “If you’ll excuse me, Miss Nichols, I have a matter to discuss with Mr. Quinto…”

Chris was already dragging Zach through the party when he heard Rachel call out, sounding more than a little annoyed, “Rachel!”

Chris managed to pull Zach all the way across the great room, narrowly evading John’s clinging, down the hall, and into the empty library.

“Christopher!” Zach yelped, yanking his arm out of Chris’ grip, “What was that all about?”

Chris shushed him.

“We’re halfway across your house and everyone else is at a noisy party. Why on earth would I need to be quiet right now?”

“Zach, shut up!” Chris hissed, slamming his hand over Zach’s mouth.

The two stared at one another in the dim light. Chris focused on trying to calm his frantic breathing. Once he was under control again, he realized he was still holding his hand over Zach’s mouth. He quickly removed it, noting the strange look Zach seemed to give him. He averted his gaze, hoping it was too dark for Zach to see the blush Chris felt creeping into his cheeks.

Zach cleared his throat before asking, “What was so urgent that you had to rudely drag me here to tell me?”

Chris stammered a moment before trailing off. He risked a glance at Zach who was standing before him, arms crossed, eyebrow cocked. Licking his lips, Chris answered.

“It was Rachel.”

“Rachel…”

“Yes,” Chris huffed. “My father and her father intend for us to get married.”

He watched Zach carefully to see what his reaction might be. Zach merely nodded.

“And?”

Chris cocked his own eyebrow at that question.

“And?!”

“Yes, Christopher,” Zach explained wearily, “’And’ is a word in the English language also known as a conjunction which joins together two clauses or sentences to form one large sentence. In this case, I am using it to prompt you to continue your explanation of the situation as I can tell that the single utterance of ‘our fathers intend for us to get married’ does not fully explain why you dragged me to your library.”

“You are absolutely ridiculous, you do know that, yes?” Chris asked, brow furrowed, “I mean, normal people, like Karl for instance! Normal people don’t go around delivering mini-grammar lessons to their friends, especially when their friend is in the middle of a crisis. Especially not when it’s their best friend!”

Zach, to his credit, managed to look mildly abashed.

“And, for your information, I’m not just supposed to marry her, I’m supposed to woo her!”

Zach grimaced. “Why on earth?”

“Apparently, Miss Nichols has no idea of our father’s plans, she is against arranged marriages, and her father hopes that if I can win her heart he won’t have to break it by telling her that she must marry me anyway.”

Zach gaped.

“Exactly!” Chris exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air, he began pacing.

A silence descended over the pair. All that could be heard were the sounds of Chris’ footsteps and the incredibly faint buzz of the party.

“Well,” Zach finally spoke. “I’ll just have to help you woo her then.”

Chris stopped pacing.

“You’ll what?” he deadpanned.

“I’ll help you woo her,” Zach’s voice was full of determination. “I write about romance all the time. It’s kind of my job, right? So all I need to do is write you a script. You just follow my lead and,” his voice wavered for a moment, “And she’ll be in love with you in a week’s time.”

“You realize you just sounded like a witch from one of those fairy tales you used to spin when we were children,” Chris’ voice sounded quiet and small.

“Well,” Zach’s laugh sounded forced, “that’s my profession… bewitching with words…”

Chris had a difficult time swallowing past the newly formed lump in his throat.

“Alright,” he agreed to Zach’s offer, voice full of despair.

“Tomorrow,” Zach whispered, taking a step forward and reaching out to squeeze Chris’ hand quickly. “We’ll start working on it tomorrow.”

Zach let his hand fall away from Chris’ and Chris fumbled to grab hold of it and squeeze it back. The two men smiled briefly at one another before Zach stepped away to open the door and usher Chris back toward the party.  



	2. Prologue

Chris was on his way out of the house, about to enter the carriage to take him into the city, when he spotted a prone form on his front lawn. Actually, he heard the snoring first, which is why he even looked in the direction of the body sprawled unceremoniously in the dewy grass.

“Jonathon Cho, did you sleep on my lawn all night?”

“Name’s not Jonathon, Christoph,” the lump on the ground mumbled in return.

Chris cautiously approached as John struggled to push himself up onto his hands and knees.

“Ugh, spinning!” He exclaimed before collapsing back to the ground.

“Oh,” Chris’ eye widened. “I better help you there.”

John was little more than dead weight, sprawled across the ground and Chris had to struggle a little as he tried to hoist his surprisingly heavy friend up without hurting him. After a few minutes, at least four attempts, and, finally, the added help of his driver, Chris managed to get John to his feet and into the carriage. He and his driver looked at one another wryly, breathing labored.

“Pit stop at the parish then, sir?” the driver asked.

Chris nodded, “I better drop him home and into his bed before anything else.”

“Very good.”

Chris stepped up into the carriage and sat down across from John, who had sprawled out along the rear-side bench, face pressed awkwardly against the plush wall.

“Don’t drool on mother’s upholstery,” Chris warned. “She’ll actually kill you.”

John “mmm”ed in response before managing to sit himself up straight.

“Where are you off to this morning?” he groaned.

Chris suppressed a sigh. “I have a meeting with Zach.”

John attempted to “ooo” in response, but he ended up wincing and letting out a hiss of air instead.

Chris shook his head before announcing in a whisper, “You are hungover, my friend.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, Christopher.”

“You have grass stuck to your face and hair,” Chris supplied.

“Great,” John began blindly searching for the offending vegetation with his fingers.

“I blame all of this on Anton, you know,” he announced after a few moments of silence.

“I don’t know,” Chris promised. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know…”

“He was supposed to help me home.”

Chris raised his hand and shook his head. He really didn’t want to know. He looked down at the floor of the carriage and snorted.

“What now?” John whined, closing his eyes tightly.

“Well, Cinderella,” Chris began, “I do believe you’ve left behind one of your glass slippers.”

John’s eyes snapped open at that and Chris watched as he looked down at his feet. One of John’s feet still had a shoe tied tightly on it; the other was covered in nothing but a sock.

“You have got to be kidding me!”

Chris laughed, trying to keep the volume to a minimum so as not to kill John’s head.

“I’m such a mess…”

Chris readily agreed.

“I really hope the Archbishop isn’t planning to stop by this morning.”

“I hope he is!” Chris exclaimed.

“Thy name is Brutus,” John looked legitimately betrayed.

“Thy name is Dumbass,” Chris retorted. “You know I love you like a brother, John. I truly do. So, what I say next, I promise, is full of love… You have a drinking problem.”

John looked exactly like a sad puppy.

“Don’t give me that look,” Chris warned.

John “hmmphed” and threw his arms into the air.

“I just really love red wine!”

“I know,” Chris replied sympathetically, “But it doesn’t love you back. It might pretend it does, to lure you in with that pretty hue and sensual bouquet, but it really doesn’t have your best interests at heart.”

“All relationships have their rough patches.”

“I’m telling you,” Chris leaned over and rested his hand on John’s forearm, “This is an abusive relationship. You need to stick up for yourself and get out of it.”

John rolled his eyes, “You always did like to wrap your judgments in over-beaten metaphors.”

Chris sat back in his seat.

The carriage slowed to a stop, signaling they had reached the parish, and John grumbled, “Thank God!”

John’s house was significantly smaller than the Pine’s home. It was actually an old cottage, but his cottage had the added bonus of being free. As parish priest, John was given lodging as compensation for his services. All he had to do was maintain the place, which he actually enjoyed doing, and continue to serve the parish as their clergyman and absolver of sins.

Chris remained quiet as he helped John out of the carriage and to his front door.

“Do you need help getting to your bed?”

“I think I can handle it from here,” John answered quietly.

“Alright,” Chris nodded tightly. He turned to leave, but, instead, remained anchored to the front step.

After a moment, John sighed.

“I still love you, Brutus,” he promised.

Chris reached over, bumping his knuckles against John’s wrist. A soft smile spread across his face. “Good.”

Reassured, he strolled down the walkway and got back into the carriage again. Once inside, he tapped the roof to signal to the driver that they should leave.

***

By the time they made it to the city, Zach was deep in the throes of his morning rehearsal at the playhouse. Chris would have to sit and wait for them to break for lunch. Not that he minded.

As quietly as possible, Chris snuck up the stairs to the balcony level. It was a good size building, since it was the official theater of the country and Prince Eric’s favorite playhouse. Zach was the writer in residence, which meant he, for all intents and purposes, owned and lived in the building, though, like John, he didn’t have to pay for it. Zach lived off of the wealth of the royal family and the wealth of the local upper class. Chris’ parents were major benefactors of the Royal Theater Company, as the Prince had named it. Zach just so happened to benefit from their benefaction, which always made him a little bit embarrassed, but Zach was an artist and artists, by nature, lived off of the money of others.

Chris watched over the balcony as Zach walked a young boy through the scene they were working on. Chris smirked before lying down along the bench behind him. He closed his eyes and listened to the company run through the dialogue.

When they were children, Zach, John, Karl and Chris all played together in the fields in the countryside on the edge of the town, where Zach’s family lived. Chris never felt inclined to really play like the other boys. He didn’t want to run around in the field, rolling in the dirt like John and Karl did. Chris preferred to lie down and soak in the sun, feel his lungs fill with air so fresh that no bottled scent could ever capture it. He liked to stare at the sky, tune out his tumbling friends, and compose symphonies in his head.

Chris loved solitude. He loved being with his friends, that was no ruse, but he loved being able to be with them and not be with them at the same time. Zach understood that. He would lie beside Chris, as John tackled Karl again, and Zach would stare up at the clouds, experiencing life alongside Chris, their fingers brushing against one another as they toyed with the soft grass.

John and Karl always got bored when Chris and Zach went into one of those trances. They found it hard to keep still and quiet for that long. And Chris liked to lie there for hours. John would always nudge Karl, then they would call out quick “goodbyes” and they’d leave Chris and Zach to it.

Once they were gone, the game changed. That’s when Chris would whisper, “Continue,” and Zach would take a deep breath before jumping back into his latest tale, building off of where he’d left the storyline the last time they did this. Chris would smile, eyes still closed, and he’d hum ever so softly along as Zach spoke, writing extemporaneous music to accompany the tale.

“Chris?”

Anton’s voice broke Chris out of his reverie and startled him so badly he almost toppled off of the bench.

“What the…”

“Sorry,” Anton blushed bashfully. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s okay,” Chris told him. “You didn’t.”

Anton nodded, clearly unconvinced, before telling Chris, “Zach said you should come down and have lunch with him.”

“Okay.”

He followed Anton down the stairs, stretching out his joints, which had become stiff from lying on the bench for however long he’d been there. Something popped as he stepped off the last step and Zach turned to him wincing.

“Was that your knee?” he asked incredulously.

Chris smirked in answer before asking his own question, “How’d you know I was up there?”

“I saw you go up.”

“What?” Chris didn’t believe him, “I was completely stealthy about climbing up there.”

Zach rolled his eyes. A lot of people were rolling their eyes at Chris as of late.

“Christopher, you like to think that you’re stealthy, but no one in his thirties—“

“Very early thirties,” Chris corrected. “Practically late twenties!”

Zach ignored him and continued, “Should ever think they are stealthy when they can’t even lay across a bench without their joints tightening so they pop when they stand up.”

Chris gawked, offended.

“I would like to point out, once again, since you apparently like to discuss how old I’m getting as often as possible, that you are actually older than me, Mr. Quinto.”

Zach just waved him off.

“Come on, old man. I’ll buy you some lunch at Leonard’s tavern.”

Chris grinned. “You apologizing for calling me old, grandpa?”

Zach quirked an eyebrow. “Since I don’t, in fact, have any offspring, and since my nonexistent offspring have not begot any offspring of their own, I can only conclude that you do not understand the proper meaning of the word ‘grandpa,’ which is a sad thing indeed, Christopher.”

“And again, you’re lecturing me on my vocabulary like some awkward alien!”

Zach winked before continuing, “Anyway, it’s not a concession lunch, it’s a ‘you-have-the-unpleasant-task-of-wooing-someone-and-I-feel-sorry-for-you’ lunch.”

Chris sobered.

Zach’s lips dipped at the corners into a slight frown. He threw his arm around Chris’ shoulders and squeezed Chris to his side, resting his forehead against Chris’ temple for a moment.

“Come on,” he whispered as the players moved about the theater, enjoying their lunch break, “All the fried food you can eat, my treat.”

Chris couldn’t help returning Zach’s consoling smile, even if the return was weak.

***

“So,” Zach broached the subject after swallowing a mouthful of bread. “Project: Woo Rachel.”

Chris barely managed to swallow his own mouthful of liquid without choking.

“Is that what we’re calling it?” he asked as he gasped for air.

Zach nodded, completely unaffected by Chris’ near-death experience.

“Unless you have a better name for it…”

“I really don’t,” Chris sighed.

“Then, ‘Project: Woo Rachel’ it is.”

“You’re wooing Rachel, Christopher?” Leonard asked mildly intrigued as he delivered their food.

Leonard Nimoy was practically old enough to be Chris’ grandfather, and yet the man was in better shape than Chris’ father. He had acquired the tavern and adjacent inn back when Chris and Zach were mere toddlers, and he’d operated it ever since. He was more than amenable, downright charming even, and everyone in the city and surrounding towns loved him so much that he had always done well financially. His rates were fair, his food was delicious, and he treated every customer as if they were staying at his home as his personal guests, not just stopping through on their way to another town or visiting briefly. He considered the entire country his family.

Chris buried his face in his hands.

“It’s supposed to be a secret,” Zach whispered in answer to Leonard’s question.

Chris refused to look up, but by the silence, he could imagine Leonard nodding his head conspiratorially. Leonard was the best secret keeper in all of the country, possibly in all of the hemisphere.

Chris didn’t look up again until the sound of footfalls indicated that Leonard had left them alone.

“You’re food’s going to get cold,” Zach said.

Chris’ expression must’ve been pitiful because Zach’s eyes softened a little and his chewing slowed.

“Come on,” he urged gently, “Eat up. I have somewhere to take you before I head back to work.”

Chris stared down at his fish and chips and his stomach growled loudly. They both chuckled and Chris cast aside his anxiety so he could enjoy the remainder of their lunch.

They finished quickly and Zach paid. After saying goodbye to Leonard, Zach then ushered Chris out of the tavern and down the road. He steered him with his hand on Chris’ lower back. Chris mouth grew dry at the contact.

“Where are we going?” Chris finally asked, voice barely audible above the din of the bustling crowd.

“We need a feminine perspective,” Zach answered vaguely.

“Seriously?”

Zach slid his hand from Chris’ back to capture Chris’ wrist and halt their forward momentum when they reached their destination.

“You brought me to a ribbon shop…”

Zach nodded as if this were a completely normal outing.

“Right then…” Chris assessed Zach to see if he might be having some kind of artistic breakdown.

Zach just snorted and shoved Chris toward the door.

Once inside, Chris understood why they were here. Zoe, Miss Saldana, was perusing through the ribbons in the bin nearest them, which meant Rachel would be close by.

Chris wondered if you could die from panic. He was pretty sure you could. With any luck he hoped he would.

“Are you insane?” he hissed at Zach out of the corner of his mouth.

“No!” Zach replied before calling out cheerfully, “Miss Saldana!”

Zoe turned to look at who was addressing her. When she realized it was Zach, she grinned. When she realized Chris was with him, her grin wavered a little.

“Masters Pine and Quinto,” She greeted, curtseying shallowly.

Chris and Zach bowed their heads in answer.

“Masters Pine and Quinto?” Rachel’s voice drifted out from behind an aisle in the shop before she bodily came into view.

The two men bowed their heads to her curtsey, as they had done when greeting Zoe.

“Miss Saldana,” Zach began speaking again, “I was hoping I might speak to you a moment…”

Chris tried to grab for Zach’s hand as surreptitiously as possible, but Zach evaded him.

“Of course,” Zoe smiled at Zach before exiting the shop with him so they could speak.

Chris and Rachel stood across from one another, silently staring. Or, in Chris’ case, staring at anything but Rachel.

“Your parents’ party was lovely last night,” she broke the silence.

He risked a glance at her and nodded, “I will be sure to pass on the compliment.”

She smiled at him, broadly, and Chris averted his eyes again.

He could hear her draw closer.

“You know…” she whispered, “I promise I won’t hurt you if you look at me for more than a second.”

He looked up at her again, cheeks hot with embarrassment.

“You are very handsome when you blush like that,” she told him, incredibly forward.

“Thank you,” He managed to stammer out.

He took in her appearance for the first time: she was in a blue gown accented with cream-colored lace and.

“You look beautiful today,” he muttered.

She positively beamed at him before offering thanks.

“Er… what were you shopping for this afternoon?” he asked, feeling his face cool as his blush subsided.

She chuckled as she answered, “Ribbons.”

He actually smirked at that.

“You are certainly in the right store then,” he commented wryly. “Were you looking for a specific color or pattern?”

She tilted her head and looked at him oddly for a moment before replying, “I’ve bought a new dress for Sunday services and I need new ribbon to decorate my Sunday bonnet.”

He nodded.

“You are a very peculiar man,” Rachel commented.

From anyone else, that should have been insulting, but there was a measure of intrigue in Rachel’s voice when she said it that made Chris just shift a little on his feet.

“You never answered my question,” he pointed out after another moment of silence.

It was Rachel’s turn to appear bashful.

“So I haven’t.” she replied. “I was hoping to find something cream colored with a hint of sage incorporated in it somehow. The dress is lilac.”

Chris nodded before asking, “No luck?”

She smiled again, “No, unfortunately.”

Zach and Zoe reentered the shop at that moment, putting an end to Rachel and Chris’ conversation. Zach remarked that he needed to return to the playhouse and Chris excused himself saying he needed to accompany Zach back. The two men bowed, the two ladies curtsied, and then they parted ways.

Once Chris was satisfied that they were far enough from the shop that the girls could not possibly see them even if they exited behind them, he pulled Zach into a short alley between two stores.

“I hate you with the fiery passion of a thousand suns right now,” Chris growled.

“You’ve always been so hyperbolic,” Zach mused.

Chris punched him in the arm.

“Oww!”

“You absolutely deserved that!”

Zach actually nodded, conceding, “I did.”

“How could you bring me there and leave me with her like that?”

“You spoke to her,” Zach pointed out.

“I didn’t really have a choice, did I?” Chris was irate.

“Yes, well…” Zach trailed off before explaining himself. “I needed to talk to Zoe so I was better equipped to help you. I wasn’t expecting Rachel to be there.”

“When do they go anywhere in town apart?” Chris asked incredulously.

“I didn’t exactly think the entire thing through,” Zach admitted. It was as close to an apology as Chris was going to get and he knew it. He took a deep breath, exhaled fully, and nodded for Zach to continue explaining himself.

“I now know Rachel’s favorite flowers are—“

“Forget-me-nots,” Chris supplied.

Zach stared dumbfounded.

Chris rolled his eyes. “She used to find them growing in the fields and stick them into your hair when we were growing up. Don’t you remember?”

“No…”

Chris shrugged.

“Well then…” Zach stammered.

“She’s looking for ribbon for her Sunday bonnet,” Chris said. “She wants cream with a hint of sage. I’m going to call Winona’s shop across the county and see if she has anything she recommends. I’ll have it delivered in a lilac colored box with a bunch of Forget-me-nots bundled on top.”

Zach was beyond dumbfounded and into the staring-like-a-fish stage of disbelief.

“My father always buys my mother something she needs and something she wants when he gets her a gift,” Chris explained. “It makes this enamored look cross her face.”

“You don’t need my help at all!” Zach exclaimed.

Chris scoffed. “I know how to give a gift, Zachary. It’s the speaking to her I have a hard time with.”

Zach nodded, still a little shocked, “Right. Right. I’m the word man.”

“You’re the word man,” Chris agreed.

Chris stared, waiting for Zach to say or do something, but Zach just stood and stared back. He had a look on his face like he wanted to ask a question, but he didn’t know if he should: his brow was furrowed and he was biting on his lower lip.

“I’ve got to go start up rehearsal again,” he finally declared.

Chris nodded, “Of course.”

“I’ll come by your house tomorrow afternoon. We can work on what to say then.”

Chris agreed.

Zach stared a moment longer before nodding his head briefly. Then, he was gone.


	3. PROJECT: WOO RACHEL – DAY 2

The next morning, a servant announced Karl’s arrival in the middle of breakfast.

“Tell him to return when we are finished eating,” Chris’ father grumbled.

Chris’ mother merely laughed and waved her husband off before directing the boy to bring Karl into the dining room and to tell Nancy to fetch another place setting. Karl entered just as the new place setting was being laid out.

“Master Urban,” Chris’ mother greeted delightedly. “What a pleasant surprise. Do join us for breakfast.”

Karl bowed deeply and gracefully as he professed his gratitude. He took his seat and Nancy began piling his plate high with breakfast items.

“Morning, Sycophant,” Chris mouthed the words across the table.

Karl grinned back at him.

“So, my dear,” Chris’ mother began the inevitable interrogation, “How are you today?”

“I am very well this fine morning. How are you doing, ma’am?”

“I am well, thank you.”

“You look resplendent, as always,” Karl bowed his head chivalrously as he complimented her.

Chris’ mother blushed and Chris’ father snorted.

“Master Pine,” Karl turned his attentions to the head of the house. “The weather is exceptional today. My uncle was hoping he could interest you in a game of chess in the garden once you have finished your breakfast?”

Chris’ father perked up considerably at this request. Karl’s uncle, Duke Bruce of Greenwood, was a very busy man. He greatly respected the Pines for their geniality and generosity, and he loved playing chess with Chris’ father. The Duke happened to be Master Pine’s favorite person possibly in the entire world.

“It has been some time since I last played a game with your uncle,” Chris’ father commented, his mood markedly lighter. “I would certainly love a game or two.”

Karl nodded graciously before turning to his plate of food and beginning to eat.

“What are your plans for the day, Karl?” Chris asked after a few minutes of silence.

“I was hoping you might go for a ride through the country when we’re finished here,” Karl answered.

Chris suppressed a grin he knew his parents would consider improper.

“That sounds like an excellent plan,” he replied.

When food was finished and the table was cleared, Chris’ father went to get ready to leave for the Duke’s. Chris’ mother made sure that the carriage was being prepared for the trip. She also asked the stable boy to saddle Chris’ horse for him.

As they walked through the gardens, toward the stables, Karl asked quietly, “Aren’t you going to miss your mother’s doting once you marry and move house?”

If Chris had been drinking anything, he would have choked. Even though he wasn’t drinking anything, he still managed to sputter a little.

“How did you know?”

Karl tsked him, “I didn’t until just now. Not officially… My uncle hinted that you were involved in some kind of arranged marriage, but I thought he had heard wrong.”

“Unfortunately, he heard correctly…” Chris groaned.

Karl didn’t say anything more until they were both astride their horses and trotting across the yard.

“We’ll have to find a way out of it.”

Karl’s statement was simple, but it completely cut Chris’ focus and almost caused him to tumble off his horse.

“Out?” Chris asked, clueless.

“Well, you clearly don’t want to marry her. You certainly don’t love her… So, we’ll have to get you out of the arrangement.”

Chris stopped his horse and stared at Karl.

“What?” Karl asked, flushing slightly. He looked self-conscious for a moment.

“Nothing,” Chris shook his head, “It’s nothing.”

“You’re lying.”

Chris gave in and blurted out what he was thinking, “It’s just, I told Zach and he offered to play Cyrano. Meanwhile, you find out and offer to help me break it off… Why hadn’t Zach thought of that?”

Karl looked slightly uncomfortable, just for a split second, before he made up some poor excuse about Zach loving romance and wooing so much that the idea of refusing to marry Rachel never crossed his mind.

For the remainder of their outing, Karl changed the subject to Prince Eric’s latest artistic endeavor (sculpting) and Duke Greenwood’s new stable. When they returned to Chris’ house, there was a note waiting for Chris with one of the servants in the foyer. His name was scrawled across it in an accomplished script and the paper was impregnated with the faint smell of forget-me-nots.

“Rachel?” Karl asked.

Chris nodded and read the note quickly before passing it off to Karl.

“I don’t make a habit of reading other people’s mail—“

Chris cut him off, “Just read it, Karl.”

He opened the paper slowly, clearly reluctant to read it. Inside was a short message thanking Chris for the ribbon and the flowers. Nothing gushy. Nothing sentimental. Just courtesy, gratitude, and friendliness. He passed the paper back to Chris.

“Well,” Karl commented, “Your half-hearted attempts at charming her don’t seem to have worked yet, so there’s still hope you can both escape this thing without breaking any hearts.”

“Except our parents’,” Chris pointed out.

“Yes,” Karl acquiesced, “there’s that.”

***

Chris’ mother invited Karl to stay for lunch since Master Pine still seemed to be occupied with the Duke. Karl ate his second meal of the day at the Pine’s, before he and Chris both made excuses so Karl could retreat before Zach arrived. Chris wanted to have a word with Zach about Karl’s suggestion and he could tell that Karl didn’t want to be anywhere near Chris’ house when that discussion took place. So, Karl bid his farewells to Chris and his mother and rode off in the direction of John’s house.

Zach rode up just as Karl turned out of the driveway.

“Where’s Karl off to in such a rush?” he asked Chris as he reached the front door.

Zach dismounted, passing the reins of his black steed over to the stable boy. He brushed his clothes off quickly before approaching Chris.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, taking in Chris’ silence and surly scowling expression.

“We need to chat,” Chris informed him before turning on his heels and heading toward the library. He didn’t escort Zach into the house; just hoped Zach had enough sense to follow.

When they were once again ensconced in the Pine Library for the second time in three days, Chris turned to face Zach and was shocked at the way his friend was behaving. Zach was standing at an awkward distance from Chris. While the separation would have been considered courteous and proper by society’s standards, it was abnormal for the two men. Chris looked him in the eyes and Zach returned the stare for only a few seconds before glancing away. Chris took a step toward him and Zach flinched backward.

Zach was completely uncomfortable being near Chris.

Any and all thoughts of confrontation drifted out of Chris’ mind.

“What did we need to chat about?” Zach asked. Even his voice sounded different all of a sudden: like Zach would rather be anywhere but there.

Over the course of their lives, Chris had gotten mad at Zach a good number of times (and vice versa). Zach always took it in stride, though, because he knew Chris. Chris’ tantrums and meltdowns were just things he needed to get out of his system every so often. Zach always faced them with calm rationality. Chris counted on Zach to not only hear him out, but to soothe him. Zach was so good at the job that he usually had Chris calm again before Chris could even realize he was becoming apoplectic. So, in a situation where Zach must surely know Chris was ticked off about something, like in that moment, Zach’s withdrawn fidgeting was especially confusing.

“Uh…” Chris stammered as he tried to come up with something to say. “Are you alright?”

Zach’s answering shrug lacked any and all grace as he answered. “Absolutely. Never better.”

He was lying.

It felt as if someone threw a bucket of ice water in Chris’ face. Never in the twenty plus years that they’d known one another could Chris ever recall Zach lying to him. Not about anything important. For a moment, Chris’ head spun. He was reeling on his feet. He wanted to call Zach out for acting strangely. He wanted to yell at him for lying. He wanted to accuse him of failing to act like a friend when Chris obviously needed him. Really, he just wanted to do anything to rail against him. Zach, whose awkward behavior seemed to have sucked the two of them into a strange dimension where they shared tense silences.

Zach shifted on his feet again.

“Chris, what did you need to say?”

Chris shook himself mentally, trying to pull himself back together. Zach was here for a reason. They had a mission. And until Chris could figure out why Zach was lying to him and trying to help him with this stupid arranged marriage in the completely wrong way, he would have to keep his mouth shut. Now was not the time to divulge Karl’s plan, Chris decided. No. He would work on Karl’s plan with Karl. He would continue to go through the motions of Zach’s plan with Zach. And once he was finished with this ridiculous engagement, Chris would find out what the hell was wrong with Zach and he would confront him about it. He had to compartmentalize. Chris could do that.

Standing up a bit straighter, Chris cleared his throat and declared, “I received a note from Rachel today.”

“Oh, did you?” Zach asked. His conversational tone was forced but also relieved.

“She liked the ribbon and flowers.”

“Good,” Zach nodded.

“She wasn’t overly enthusiastic about them,” Chris clarified while he reached into his pocket in search of the letter.

He passed it to Zach, taking note of the careful way Zach avoided touching his hand while he took the paper from him. Zach read the note a few times, judging by the time he spent staring at it, while Chris stood waiting.

“Well,” Zach finally spoke up, “She doesn’t hate you, so that’s good…”

Despite the tension between them, Chris let out a loud laugh. Zach looked startled a moment before he chuckled himself.

“We’ll just use this as the start of a correspondence between you two,” Zach told him, getting down to business. “I’ll draft a letter for you to send in response and we’ll go from there…”

Chris nodded, trying to keep his expression neutral instead of aggrieved.

By dinnertime, they had completed a final draft of a letter for Rachel. It wasn’t too sentimental, per Chris’ specifications, nor was it too obvious in its intended purpose. Chris was concerned with subtlety, he told Zach. Really he was concerned with somehow appearing to woo Rachel, without actually wooing her. (If Zach could lie, so could Chris.)

When the two men had finally come up with something that didn’t make Chris cringe outwardly (only inwardly), Mistress Pine interrupted their work to invite Zach to stay for dinner.

“Thank you, m’lady,” Zach responded with a courteous bow, “But I regret I must decline as I have a prior engagement.”

Chris’s mother sighed, “What a pity.”

Zach folded and pocketed the letter they’d spent the afternoon on, before heading out. Chris’ mother insisted on ushering Zach out the door with Chris, bidding him farewell as he rode off toward the city.

“Did you two have a nice afternoon together?” she turned to ask Chris once Zach was out of view.

Chris suppressed the urge to sigh before responding with a simple. “Yes.”

He was too full of conflict and feelings he didn’t want to examine at the moment, especially in conversation with his mother, so before she could ask him anything else about the afternoon, Chris offered her the crook of his arm. Delighted, she silently took it and he lead her to the dinner table where his father was awaiting them.  



	4. PROJECT: WOO RACHEL – DAY THREE; PROJECT: SABATOGE EVERYTHING – DAY 1

When Chris was finishing breakfast the following day, a note was delivered from Karl, telling him to go to the parish church. Chris took off as soon as he could extricate himself from his father’s rant about the increasing heat.

He rode to John’s on horseback, since the sky was clear. The feel of the wind against his face helped to alleviate some of the anger and hurt he was still feeling as a result of Zach’s visit the day before. By the time he reached the church he was almost feeling good.

He dismounted and tied his horse by the trough at the side of John’s house. He filled the basin with some water from the well and patted his horse’s flank before crossing the yard and climbing the stairs to the church.

“Christopher.” Karl breathed out a sigh of relief, cutting Chris off at the entrance.

“Karl,” Chris answered, hesitantly before asking, “What are you up to?”

“You can let him in,” John’s voice echoed from behind Karl.

“Are you sure?” Karl called over his shoulder, keeping his eyes on Chris.

“Of course I’m sure,” John grumbled.

Karl stepped aside, ushering Chris inside.

“What’s going on?” Chris asked as he stepped past Karl.

Morning sun streamed through the stained glass windows on the eastern side of the church, bathing the interior in a kaleidoscope of rainbow light. John was seated on the ledge leading up to the altar. Zoe was seated in the pew across from him.

Chris’ steps faltered.

“What’s going on?” he asked again, hoping his voice didn’t sound as panicked as he suddenly felt.

“We’ve recruited someone to help us out.,” John explained.

“Oh no!” Chris began backing away, only to find his way halted by Karl’s chest.

“Come on, Chris,” John pleaded, standing now.

“She’ll tell Rachel and ruin the entire thing,” Chris knew he was starting to sound a little shrill. He didn’t care.

“Ruin what thing, exactly?” Karl asked. “The entire point of us meeting is so we can figure out some way to ruin the entire thing.”

“Without hurting anyone!” Chris shot back.

“That’s exactly why we need her help,” John said.

“She doesn’t want to marry you,” Zoe piped in.

Chris stilled. He turned toward her, dumbfounded.

“What?”

“She’s in love with someone else,” Zoe explained.

“Who?”

Zoe shook her head. “I can’t tell you that.”

“Why?”

“It’s not my secret to tell,” Zoe responded. “But I can help you both get out of this mess.”

“You were helping Zach—“

“Zach’s got his own orders.”

Chris felt lightheaded. He reached out to brace himself on the nearest pew.

“Orders from whom?”

“You’d have to ask him,” Zoe sighed.

“I… need to sit down,” Chris announced.

Karl grabbed Chris’ elbow, helping to steer him onto the wooden bench to sit. Chris leaned forward, pressing his forehead to the back of the pew in front of him, forcing himself to breathe steady, even breaths. He marveled, for a moment, over how spectacularly fraught his life had become in a matter of days.

“So,” John interjected after a few moments of silence, “What we need to do is figure out some way to end this engagement arrangement in such a way that Masters Pine and Nichols will not be completely furious and forever disappointed.”

“Especially considering my father is pretty disappointed at life in general,” Chris grumbled, lifting his head just enough so he could glance up at John.

He heard Karl snort beside him.

“May I make a suggestion?” Zoe asked.

Karl’s response was instantaneous, “Miss Saldana, you may make as many suggestions as you like. There is no need for you to seek permission, my lady.”

Chris didn’t turn to look, but he was almost certain Karl followed up that mini-speech with a bow. John’s barely-concealed eye roll seemed to confirm Chris’ suspicion.

Zoe grinned before continuing. “If we can get the object of Rachel’s affection to realize he must propose to her or lose her entirely within the next few days, then her father will have no choice but to call off the arrangement with your father.”

“But my father will be furious…” Chris pointed out. “He loathes men who break their word.”

“But Master Nichols didn’t break his word if he had no knowledge of his daughter’s actions until it was too late.”

Chris narrowed his eyes as he stared at Zoe.

“What kind of engagement could Rachel enter into that could possibly supercede a prearranged, albeit secret, engagement.”

“An engagement for love,” Zoe explained. “You already know that Master Nichols doesn’t desire to force his daughter into a loveless marriage. That is why you have to woo her. If he knew it were not possible for her to love anyone other than her secret beau, then he would not be able to handle the task of breaking his darling daughter’s heart.”

Zoe paused.

“Social factors would play a role as well,” she added.

Chris’s eyebrows shot up.

“Really…”

Zoe nodded.

“So we just need to get the man she loves to propose to her,” Karl declared. For a moment he made it sound as if that task would be simple.

“Why hasn’t he proposed already?” John asked.

Zoe glanced at the priest. “As I mentioned, there are social factors at play.”

Chris sighed, sitting back straight on the bench.

“This plan sounds amazing, and I appreciate that you’re helping me and Rachel get out of this situation,” he said, “but how are we supposed to trick her true love into committing when Miss Saldana here cannot tell us his identity?”

“Huh,” John mused. “Good point.”

Zoe shook her head. “Don’t you worry about it. That will be my job. I’ll handle the dirty work. You men just need to do whatever I ask you to do, am I understood?”

Karl answered in the affirmative, most zealously. Chris looked at John and the latter shrugged.

“Alright,” Chris answered, voice weary.

Zoe smiled at them all.

“I will contact you by the evening and let you know how my task is progressing,” She explained to the three men before Karl escorted her from the church.

“Well, this seems to be coming together,” Karl announced as he returned sans Zoe a few moments later.

Chris agreed.

“It helps when you’re both in love with other people, I guess,” Karl sighed.

“Excuse me?” Chris asked, confused, “Both in love?”

He watched Karl’s eyes widen and his face flush.

“I mean,” Karl’s stammered. Chris could see in Karl’s eyes that he was trying his best to come up with some way of back tracking out of this word blunder. Karl couldn’t think fast enough.

“Karl,” John’s voice cut in, distracting Chris, “You’re about to be late to your meeting in town. You better take off. I’ll talk to you this evening.”

“Right,” Karl breathed out, shooting John a look Chris hadn’t seen since they were kids: a mixture of gratitude and apology. He didn’t waste any time saying goodbye before he was out the door.

“What did Karl mean by that?” Chris asked John.

“Nothing, Chris,” John assured him. “You should head home and touch base with Zach. I’m sure he has some wooing tips he plans on imparting this afternoon.”

Chris stood, gripping the back of the pew in front of him.

“I’m not in love with anyone,” he announced. “Why is Karl insinuating I’m in love with someone?”

John shrugged, not meeting Chris’ gaze, “He’s Karl. He has a very active imagination. I always wondered why he didn’t become a writer like Zach. Though he never did have Zach’s way with words…”

“John, stop evading me,” Chris snapped, “I’ve known you far too long for you to get away with that kind of thing.”

John heaved a sigh and made eye contact with Chris.

“Karl didn’t mean anything,” he insisted. “Honestly, Chris, he just misspoke… you really should get home now though.”

While mildly assuaged by John’s assurances, Chris didn’t believe John was telling the truth. It seemed that everyone was lying.

He nodded at John anyway.

“Do you want any company for dinner tonight?” He asked. “I could come by after I see Zach today.”

John smiled, “Sure. That would be great.”

Chris offered a small smile in return.

“Why don’t you come around five,” John told him.

Chris nodded again.

He turned to leave, but spun around to look at John before reaching the door. He asked, “Karl doesn’t think I’m in love with _you_ , does he?”

John shook his head, fighting off a smirk. “Absolutely not. He knows you’re in love with me. There’s no speculation necessary where the depth of our relationship is concerned.”

Chris chuckled and grinned lopsidedly at John. “Alright, I’ll see you for dinner.”

“See you then.”

  
***

“Today we’re going to discuss the subtle art of body language,” Zach announced as Chris entered his office a few hours later.

Zach’s office was nothing more than a walk-in closet filled with a desk, a chair, and a plethora of notebooks. It was where he liked to go to work on his scripts while the remainder of the theater company was on stage working on the sets, costumes and props.

“Uhh…” Chris responded incoherently. His brain was still trying to catch up with the people around him. While he hadn’t known what to expect when he saw Zach again following the awkward encounter the day before, a lesson in the subtle art of body language was definitely not on the list of possible expectations.

Zach sighed, moving about the small room as though it were physically impossible for him to remain still.

“I made sure your letter was delivered on my way into work this morning, so you should have a response by the time we finish today,” Zach backtracked before continuing, “So, after the letter we’re going to have to step up our efforts and actually do the courting in person. Wooing someone is a lot more than just gifts and pretty words arranged on paper.”

Chris felt his eyebrows shoot up his forehead.

“Did you, mighty wordsmith, just tell me that it takes more than words to make someone fall in love with you?”

Zach stopped moving a moment and looked at Chris. The corners of his mouth lifted into a sheepish grin. “Actually, I did.”

“Well then…”

“Body language is still a language, and you certainly need help with it,” Zach explained somewhat defensively, resuming his flitting, “I mean, there’s an understated charm to the way you get all overwhelmed and emotionally constipated when you are face-to-face with Rachel, but that behavior can only get you so far with her.”

“Gee thanks…” Chris grumbled.

“Anton!” Zach called so loudly that his voice made Chris’ ears ring.

A second later, Anton entered the already cramped space, wearing a sapphire gown full of tailor’s pins.

“Yes, sir?” Anton answered. When he glanced at Chris his cheeks blushed slightly. “We’re fitting the costumes for the play,” he offered as explanation for his unusual outfit.

Chris nodded, fighting back a smile, “It’s a lovely color on you, Anton.”

“Thanks,” Anton answered, wryly.

“Anton’s going to help us right now. He’s here to play the part of Rachel and you’re going to practice courting her through body language,” Zach’s voice interrupted their aside.

Chris stared at Zach, “Anton knows about this project now, too?”

The tops of Zach’s ears flushed pink. “Uh, yes. I may have mentioned it.”

“It’s a wonder news of it hasn’t reached Rachel yet, since everyone but her seems to know about what we’re working on,” Chris noted.

Zach blushed further and cleared his throat, “Yes, well… start a conversation. Remember, Anton is Rachel.”

Chris turned to Anton once again, taking in the full length of the gown and the way it was pinned snugly to his body. He resisted the urge to laugh and the stronger urge to tease and comically proposition him. Instead, Chris closed his eyes, willing the ludicrous image of Anton to morph into Rachel.

“Miss Nichols,” Chris stuttered her name slightly, keeping his eyes firmly closed, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Mr. Pine,” Anton cooed in an unnatural falsetto.

Chris sputtered and began laughing wildly.

“What. Was that?” he gasped out the question, once again staring at Anton.

Anton’s cheeks were the same crimson blush of Zach’s ears.

“I was getting into character,” he explained.

“I’m fairly certain, in all the years she’s spoken to me, that Rachel has never sounded like a prepubescent boy!”

“No one’s ever complained during the shows,” Anton barked back, defensively.

“Didn’t you ever notice that your character is the comic relief in all of the shows…” Chris pointed out, “No one complains because they think it’s part of the comedy that you sound like that.”

Chris noticed the blush on Anton’s face darkening.

“I’m sorry,” Chris told him, forcing himself to calm down. “I’ll keep it together. Let’s try it again.”

Anton didn’t look even a bit mollified, but he nodded tightly anyway.

“Miss Nichols, what a pleasant surprise running into you here this afternoon,” Chris started over, feeling more brazen after his laugh at Anton’s expense.

“Good afternoon, Master Pine,” Anton’s female voice, while altered, was not in the least bit improved. Chris broke into renewed peals of laughter.

“Okay, clearly this isn’t working,” Zach announced from behind his desk. “Anton, you can go back to work.”

The look of relief that crossed Anton’s embarrassed face sobered Chris up slightly. When the boy was gone, Chris turned to Zach, completely serious.

“I’ll have to make it up to him,” he told Zach. “I didn’t mean to embarrass him like that.”

“You were a bit harsh there,” Zach whispered so Anton couldn’t hear him, “The voice was pretty ridiculous, though.”

Chris smiled.

“Anyway,” Zach sighed, “I’m going to have to be Rachel.”

Zach stood up from his seat, but didn’t move from behind the desk.

“Close your eyes again,” he urged Chris, “and pretend that I’m Rachel.”

Chris blinked a couple of times before nodding quickly and following orders.

“Now,” Zach continued, “Begin when you’re ready.”

Chris noted that there was still an unmistakably soothing quality to Zach’s voice, even though it also sounded completely uncomfortable.

“Good afternoon, Miss Nichols,” Chris managed, voice rushed and barely above a whisper.

“Rachel,” Zach corrected, just as Rachel would have done.

“How are you fairing today?” Chris pressed onward, ignoring the correction, as usual.

“I am fairing quite well, Mr. Pine,” Zach spoke.

“Chris,” Chris corrected without even thinking about it. _Mr. Pine_ sounded completely wrong coming from Zach.

“Mr. Pine is my father,” Chris continued, “I’m just Chris.”

“I will call you by your given name if you will call me Rachel,” Zach replied.

“Very well. Rachel then,” Chris assented.

“Chris.”

And there it was again. The lightheadedness Chris felt earlier in John’s church washed over him at the sound of Zach saying his name.

Chris opened his eyes, blinking away residual blurriness, and he stared at Zach. Zach remained behind his desk, watching Chris, supposedly gauging Chris’ body language for ways to improve it when in the presence of Rachel.

Chris gauged Zach’s body language in turn. He’d noticed Zach’s distance a day prior, the way he changed his body language and became closed off then. Now, probably unconsciously, Zach’s was acting more naturally and Chris was really noticing what that looked like for the first time.

Zach thighs were pressed to the edge of his desk as he leaned toward Chris. Chris realized his own stance was much the same on the opposite side of the desk. As if they were drawn toward one another. Chris knew that when they were together, and they were often together, Zach and he were always in close proximity, touching near constantly. That was why Zach’s sudden distance, of late, felt so wrong. Until then, Chris hadn’t realized how painful the separation had been. His lungs felt tight, like he was having trouble breathing.

“Chris?”

Zach’s voice sounded muffled. The rush of Chris’ pulse filled his ears.

He looked up into Zach’s eyes, noting the concern. There was a flicker of something deeper in them.

“Chris?” Zach asked more urgently, reaching out to grab Chris’ arm.

Suddenly Chris gasped in a deep breath.

He glanced at Zach’s fingers, slender and ink stained, digging into the fabric of Chris’ shirt just above his wrist.

“I have to go,” the words blurted out of Chris’ mouth and he was turning to leave before he knew what he was saying or doing.

Thankfully, Zach didn’t follow. Or, if he did, Chris managed to outrun him.

Thunder rumbled ominously as Chris exited the playhouse. By the time he untied and mounted his horse in the city streets, his ears were again full of the sound of his own blood beating through his veins. He took off, unsure of his destination.

After a few minutes, it began to rain.

Chris was standing at John’s door, knocking fiercely, soaked to the skin before he could think with any semblance of clarity.

“Chris?” John gasped as he opened the door.

Without another word, John ushered him inside. He stood Chris by the fire while he went to fetch towels and dry clothing for him to borrow.

“Why did you set out in this rain?” John asked upon returning.

“I didn’t,” Chris’ voice still sounded muffled to his ears. “It started after. I couldn’t stop. I had to go.”

“What are you talking about?” John shook his head, puzzled.

“It’s Zach.”

“Dear God,” John went wide-eyed, “Is he hurt?”

“No, no,” Chris shook his head, “Not hurt. He’s not hurt. He’s fine. Just. He’s fine. I just. It’s him. John, it’s him.”

“Slow down,” John urged gently, “You’re scaring me now, Chris. Take a deep breath.”

Chris nodded, breathing in as deeply as he could without sending himself into a coughing fit. He felt his teeth chatter as he breathed out. John wrapped him in a towel and began rubbing his arms for warmth.

“We’ve got to get you into dry clothes.” He started unbuttoning Chris’ shirt.

“I’m in love with Zach,” Chris choked out, embarrassingly enough, on a sob.

John stopped everything and stood completely still. He lifted his gaze to Chris’.

“I’m in love with him and he’s trying to make me marry this girl and not touching me anymore and I can’t breathe without him touching me, John,” Chris rambled on, “I can’t breathe. It hurts. I didn’t realize it until now. He wants me to talk to her and make her fall in love with me when I’m already in love with him and talking to him with no problem and he can’t even see it. How can he not see it? I’m standing there. Right in front of him. It’s been him all along. And I’ve been there all along and he doesn’t even know.”

Chris stopped to catch his breath a moment.

“I didn’t even know.”

Chris felt himself sagging. He suddenly felt exhausted.

“How could I not know…”

John resumed unbuttoning Chris’ shirt.

“Come on,” he urged softly, “Let’s get you into some dry clothing and then we can talk about it.”

Chris nodded helplessly.

***

Chris roused from sleep some time later to find himself in a strange bed. The door to the room was cracked, allowing a strip of light to enter. He recognized John’s boots by the wardrobe. He was in John’s bed. At John’s house.

He heard muffled voices outside.

“I set off as soon as the rain subsided. Where is he?”

“He’s asleep.”

Karl and John were talking about him.

“What happened?” Karl asked.

“I’m not sure,” John answered, “He saw Zach this afternoon. Then, suddenly, he was pounding on my door in the pouring rain… He was supposed to join me for dinner. I thought he was just early, then I got a good look at him and I knew something must’ve happened… he looked terrible, Karl.”

“Did he say anything?”

“Yes…” John went silent for a few moments.

Chris quietly got out of bed and approached the door.

“Ah,” Karl responded slowly. “He’s figured it out.”

John didn’t answer but Chris could see him nod slightly through the cracked open door.

“It’s about time,” Karl grumbled.

“I didn’t think he would react this badly…”

“He’s under a lot of stress, John,” Karl’s voice sounded softer, “His parents are pushing for this marriage that neither he nor Rachel wants. Zach’s acting like he’s on their side for whatever reason. And Chris has no idea how to get out of it… all on top of realizing the love of his life has been standing beside him since he was a kid and he didn’t even know it.”

“Have you heard from Zoe?” John asked, voice weary.

“Not yet.”

Chris steeled himself and pushed open the door, entering the living room. Karl and John were seated by the fire. They both stood.

“Chris,” Karl said, only mildly surprised.

“Come sit down before you fall over,” John instructed, dragging Chris over to the fire and pushing him into an armchair.

“I’m fine,” Chris insisted, though he remained seated.

Karl handed him a glass of water. He took a sip.

“How long have you guys known?” He asked.

John and Karl exchanged glances before dropping into seats opposite him.

“Since we were kids,” Karl told him, apparently deciding not to feign ignorance.

Chris huffed out a mirthless laugh and stared at the fire.

“And neither of you thought to clue me in?”

“We honestly thought you knew,” Karl answered.

“Well, Karl thought you knew,” John corrected. “I wasn’t so sure.”

Chris frowned.

“Does Zach know?”

“We don’t know,” John told him.

Chris nodded.

“I think he might,” He answered his own question. “He’s been acting strange. Out of nowhere, he started up this aloof routine, keeping this distance from me he never bothered with in the past… he must be disgusted…”

“No!” Karl’s voice rarely held the level of conviction it carried in that one syllable.

Chris turned to look at him.

“No?”

“You’re both so blind,” Karl shook his head. “You asked me yesterday morning why Zach didn’t think to challenge the arranged marriage. Why he didn’t come up with the idea to sabotage it. Zoe told you herself, he’s under someone’s orders… Chris, whatever Zach’s doing to help you, he’s doing reluctantly. He doesn’t want this any more than you do. And when you were getting better at his ridiculously half-hearted wooing plan, before I came along and offered to help you out of it, I bet he started to think you might actually want to marry Rachel…”

“Karl,” John warned.

“No,” Karl barked at John, “I’m tired of this. I’m not going to let them hurt each other any longer when they don’t even know they’re doing it.”

He turned back toward Chris. “Zach’s been in love with you since the day you first met and he’s never known how to tell you. He’s lost too much in life at too young an age for him to risk everything the two of you have to admit his feelings and he’s too convinced he doesn’t deserve you to realize that you’ve loved him just as long.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Chris proclaimed.

“No kidding!” Karl continued. “You’re both completely ridiculous! You’d rather lose everything by pretending there’s nothing to lose, or remaining blind to the fact that there’s everything to gain, by playing it safe and not pushing your relationship past friendship when it’s clearly gone way beyond that despite all of your willful ignorance.”

Chris looked at John.

“And you?” he asked, “What do you have to say about all of this?”

“Chris, you’re like my brother…” John sighed, “So you know I say this with love: You’ve been a complete idiot about this all of your life. Zach has too, for that matter. I don’t know how you’ve gone this long without realizing the beautiful potential between you… now that you know, it’s time for you to do something about it.”

“How, when I’m supposed to be marrying Rachel?”

As if in answer, there came a knock at John’s front door.

John went to see who was calling, returning with Zoe in tow.

“Perfect timing!”

“I hope you have good news for us,” John told her, urging her to take his vacated seat.

“Not exactly,” she responded.

Chris slumped in his chair.

“I spoke with him,” she explained, “and he listened to all I had to say, but he remains unconvinced…”

“Who is this man?!” Karl growled. “I’ll convince him!”

Zoe grinned, “I bet you would.”

Karl blushed.

“What can we do to help?” John asked.

“Nothing,” she sighed. “At least, nothing you and Mr. Urban can do.”

Chris perked up.

“What can I do?”

“Our mystery man is convinced you would be better for Rachel in the long-run than he ever could be. It’s not an issue of money. He can provide. He just thinks you a better suited match, despite the fact that she loves him,” Zoe explained. “I can’t convince him to sweep her off her feet before you are forced to. So, I need you to back out of the arrangement yourself.”

“Are you crazy?” Chris cried, “It would kill my father!”

“Chris, it’s going to kill _you_ if you go through with this,” Karl reminded him. “Your father can take a little more disappointment.”

“You can’t live in fear of this anymore,” John urged softly, “You owe yourself happiness. Don’t just sit aside and do what is expected of you now.”

“I can’t…”

Zoe cut Chris off, “If you won’t do this for yourself, you have to do this for Rachel. I know you don’t love her, but I also know you at least care for her. She is one of your oldest friends, even if you have grown apart considerably. Don’t break her heart.”

Chris stared down at his hands resting in his lap.

“You’re asking me to take an awfully big risk here,” he whispered.

“No,” John corrected, “We’re really not. We’re just asking you to start doing what you want in life, for once.”

Chris took a deep breath and let it out as a long sigh.

“What do I have to do?”

He looked between all three of them. They were smiling.

“If you’ll hear me out,” Zoe began, “I have a crazy plan…”  



	5. PROJECT: WOO RACHEL – ABANDONED; PROJECT: SABATOGE EVERYTHING – DAY 2

The following day was Sunday, which meant everyone would be attending church. Chris woke earlier than usual, dressed as quickly as possible, and left the house before his parents were finished dressing. He once again headed to John’s house.

Zoe’s crazy plan, as it turns out, consisted of Chris showing up at the church early so he could be there before Zach. When Zach arrived, he was supposed to corner him, declare his love publicly, pledge himself to Zach for all of time, and whoever was leaving Rachel hanging would then realize she was free and reveal his heart.

“Everyone will win,” Zoe said the evening before.

Of course, what the group of them didn’t plan on was Rachel and Zach both being at the church when Chris arrived, sitting on the bench beside its entrance.

“Mr. Pine,” Rachel called out with a smile. She waved at him as he rode up.

“Miss Nichols,” he sputtered. “Zach.”

He dismounted clumsily and tied his horse up beside Zach’s before addressing the pair again.

“You’re both incredibly early this morning.”

“It seems we all were anxious to attend services this morning,” she replied.

“Chris! Zach! Miss Nichols!”

Chris turned to find John rushing toward them from his house.

“Good morning, Father Cho,” Rachel greeted, seemingly the only one of them fully capable of speech, “I thought you would be preparing for mass.”

“Ordinarily I would be,” he explained, flustered, “But I am not presiding over the mass this morning. It seems Archbishop Abrams has decided to stop by and grace us with one of his sermons.”

John shot Chris an extra pointed look.

“What excellent news,” Rachel responded.

“Yes,” Chris agreed half-heartedly before saying, “John, might I have a quick word in private…”

He tried not to make it too obvious he was dragging John as they crossed the yard.

“I’m so sorry, Chris,” John sputtered, “The archbishop just appeared on my doorstep this morning, declaring he had a sermon prepared for today that he thought would be a treat for the congregation…”

“It’s fine,” Chris tried to assure him. “It’s not as if you could’ve done anything to prevent it. He’s the archbishop, after all. What I don’t understand is why Rachel and Zach are here so early.”

“Well, that I have absolutely no explanation for…”

Chris stared at him. John looked anxious and apologetic over the turn of events. He also looked surprisingly put together despite this flustering turn of events. His eyes were clear and focused. He stood tall and sure. His clothes were immaculate. It dawned on Chris rather suddenly that John had looked that composed for the last couple of days.

“John, are you sober?”

John bristled, “Of course I am.”

“No, no, no,” Chris corrected. “I mean, have you stopped drinking?”

John went from indignant to bashful.

“John!” Chris exclaimed, clapping his shoulder, “Have you had a drink since my parent’s party?”

“No,” he finally confessed, cheeks red as cherries, “But that hardly counts as being sober when it’s been less than a week…”

Chris pulled John into a tight hug, cutting the priest off.

“It absolutely counts, my friend,” he whispered against the side of John’s head before kissing his temple. “I’m proud of you.”

Chris released John and held him at arm’s length.

John brushed off Chris’ praise, but a small smile tugged at his lips, “It’s only been a few days.”

“That’s a few days reclaimed, brother,” Chris assured him. “Really, I have never been so proud.”

“Not even when I graduated from seminary school?” John asked coyly.

“Especially not then,” Chris laughed back. “You and your forced celibacy in the name of God.”

“Hey, don’t knock my relationship with God,” John patted Chris’ cheek. “It’s a deep and abiding love.”

“So was your love of red wine, remember?”

“Well, now I can focus all of my deep and abiding love on God,” John retorted. “Anyway, today is not about me and my meager accomplishments. It’s about you and saving yourself from a lifetime of dread. Marriage is one of those lifetime commitments, remember.”

Chris chuckled nervously.

“Stick to the plan. Don’t worry about the archbishop. I’ll worry about him. You just declare yourself and save yourself and Rachel from this horrible arrangement,” John coached.

Chris nodded.

“You really gave up drinking?” he asked one last time.

John ducked his head, “You spoke the other morning and I really did hear you… I’m trying, Brutus.”

Chris smiled widely at him.

“Well, then. I guess I can live my own life the way I want to, for once, instead of doing what my parents want me to do,” he told John.

“That’s the spirit,” John urged.

“It’s the least I can do. Trusting you. After you trusted me.”

John reached out and patted Chris’ cheek again, eyes full of fondness.

“Come on,” John urged, steering Chris toward the church, which was now filling with people, “It’s almost show time. I’ll stall the archbishop as long as I can over his sermon preparations in the back, but I won’t be able to keep him long.”

Karl was waiting for Chris where John left him at the foot of the stairs in front of the church. John pulled Zach inside, giving a quick nod to Karl.

“So?” Chris asked.

Karl nodded, “Zoe says he’s here.”

“Great!” Chris exclaimed on a sigh of relief as he bounded up the stairs.

“Christopher!”

“Shit,” Chris breathed out before turning toward the sound of his mother’s voice.

“Darling, you left without us this morning,” She called to him as Chris’ father helped her from the carriage.

“I did,” Chris agreed, trying to find some kind of way out of this conversation.

“Master and Mistress Pine,” Karl called out a bit louder than usual, “How lovely to see you this Sunday morning.”

“Master and Mistress Pine?” The Duke of Greenwood stuck his head out of the church.

“Duke!” Chris’ father called, perking up considerably. “Good morning.”

Karl sidled up to Chris as inconspicuously as possible and whispered, “Go find him and get to it.”

Chris looked at him, anxiously.

“Go!” Karl urged a bit louder.

Chris searched the interior of the bustling church and located Zach directly before the altar, deep in conversation with Zoe. Zoe, who was staring at Chris as if to say, “I can’t keep him occupied much longer now get your ass in here!”

With a deep breath, Chris forced himself to stride into the church and across to Zach, calling out his name as he went.

“Chris,” Zach responded, startled.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Chris added as an afterthought, though he knew Zoe welcomed the interruption.

“Not at all,” Zoe responded before Zach could. She took a few steps back, forcing Zach to focus his attention on Chris.

“What’s going on?” Zach asked, brow furrowed, “Why do you have that look on your face like you’re about to do something stupid.”

“Not stupid,” Chris assured him. “Well, maybe a little stupid. Mostly just long overdue, though.”

“Excuse me?” Zach looked completely perplexed.

“I’m sorry I ran out on you yesterday,” Chris began with an apology. That hadn’t been part of the plan, but honestly, the speaking part of the plan really just consisted of the stage direction _[make confession here]_ with no details on how he should go about doing it.

Chris paused. He felt as jittery as Zach looked lately.

“You’re the master of words,” Chris told him, noting that the whole of the church crowd seemed to be quieting the more he and Zach spoke. “So, what I have to say won’t be as eloquent as it could be with your coaching, But, I’ll have to make due for now.”

He took a deep breath before continuing, “The thing is, when we were acting in your office yesterday, I realized something I’d been stupidly ignorant of for years. Apparently since we were children. And I was terrified by it. You of all people should know how well I handle my emotions. And yesterday was a huge emotional revelation that I’m ashamed to admit I should have had about twenty years ago, my dear friend.

“I looked into your eyes, Zach, and I finally noticed the significance behind the way we’re drawn to one another… I’m ashamed I didn’t notice this all sooner and I’m even more ashamed that I was going to ruin everything by marrying a girl I don’t love simply because other people want me to. That’s not how I want to live my life, Zach. I don’t want to do what other people think is best anymore. I want to do the things I know are right in my heart even if it takes me years to figure them out.”

Chris paused for breath.

“The thing is,” he continued, “I’ve been completely in love with you since we were little kids laying together in the field by your home, creating worlds and symphonies together like we were mini-kings with no one to answer to but ourselves. And I’ve been blind to the fact that it’s harder to be around people when you’re not beside me. And it’s almost impossible to breathe when you aren’t touching me. So, in front of the entire congregation of our parish and God himself, I need to tell you that I am in love with you. That I have been in love with you since forever. That I will remain in love with you for always. That I can’t spend another day apart from you. That I want to marry you and spend the rest of our time on this earth creating worlds and symphonies and touching one another until our final breaths.”

The entire time he spoke, Chris could feel his cheeks heating with a scarlet blush, but he continued on until he was through, breathing harshly when all his words were spent. Never did he look anywhere but into Zach’s bewildered eyes.

“Christopher!” His father’s voice sounded scandalized.

“No, I’m through with your agendas,” Chris called back to him, keeping his eyes steady on Zach.

“Zachary!” his mother called, “We had a deal!”

That Chris did turn at.

“What?” he asked.

His mother ignored him as she glared daggers at Zach. Chris turned back toward him.

“He has his own orders,” Chris echoed Zoe’s statement from the day prior before asking Zach, “Is that what this whole Cyrano thing has been about? My mother ordered you to help me woo Rachel?”

A number of people gasped at this bit of news, but Chris ignored them.

“Yes,” Zach admitted, shoulders sagging, his cheeks their own fierce shade of red. “That’s why she had me stay behind on the veranda at the party.”

Suddenly Chris remembered his mother’s strange request to speak to Zach alone that evening. It was all falling into place now.

“Zach,” Chris reached out to grip Zach’s hand in his own, “Did she threaten your cash flow at the theater?”

Zach flinched.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he responded, squeezing Chris’ hand.

Chris was vaguely aware of the hushed murmuring around them.

“It’s fine. Forget it,” He told Zach, pressing the palm of his free hand to the stubble along Zach’s cheek. “What about everything I just said to you?”

“You love me,” Zach said.

“I love you,” Chris agreed.

“And you need me,” Zach added.

“I definitely need you,” Chris said.

Zach watched him a moment, looking as if he was deciding how to react to this news.

“I guess that’s good,” he broke out into a grin, “because I feel the same way about you.”

Chris inched forward.

“Will you have me then?” He asked. “I would get on one knee and do it properly, but I would much rather be up on my feet so I can kiss you.”

Zach chuckled.

“I will have you for as long as you will let me, which I hope is forever,” Zach answered.

Before Chris could pull Zach into a kiss, Zach leaned forward, pressing their mouths together. Zach’s lips were warm and slightly chapped against Chris’ and when Zach angled his head a little further, they slid together perfectly.

“We had an arrangement!”

The sound of Master Nichol’s screaming broke into Chris’ reverie. He pulled away from Zach far enough to end the kiss, but not so far that they were no longer touching. He squeezed Zach’s hand more firmly in his own as he turned toward the waiting crowd.

“Control your son,” Master Nichols growled.

Master Nichols and Chris’ father were practically nose to nose in the center aisle of the church.

Chris’ father stared at Master Nichols a moment before replying, “If you are so concerned about my son being out of control, then you should be glad he is not marrying your daughter, sir.”

“How dare you—“

“Father!” Chris exclaimed, cutting off Master Nichols’ building tirade.

Chris’ father continued, “Jim, you were so concerned that Rachel should not marry for anything but love. So concerned that you would break her heart by demanding she marry without love. You never cared if my son should be forced to do the same. And you convinced me, somehow, that I shouldn’t care about my son’s own desires as well.”

Chris’ father turned to face Chris.

“Christopher,” he said, “I underestimated you. I sold you out in a business deal, like chattel, without taking into account your own feelings… I was so sure you would be nothing but the dutiful child… I see now, you are your own man.”

“Robert,” Chris’ mother feebly tried to stop her husband’s speech.

“No, Gwynne,” Chris’ father shushed her, “Our son has made his choice. I support him in it. If you can’t do the same, the least you can do is respect him and keep quiet.”

Chris was speechless.

“That’s the most I’ve ever heard your father speak at one time,” Zach whispered to him.

Chris grinned at him.

“Well then.”

Everyone seemed to turn collectively to look at the new arrivals: Father John and Archbishop Abrams, whose voice diverted everyone’s attention.

“I had a sermon planned this morning all about the importance of being true to yourself,” the archbishop informed everyone, “But that seems somewhat redundant now… if there are no other declarations to be had, I suggest we—“

“I’m sorry, your holiness,” Rachel spoke up. “I don’t mean to interrupt any further, but I cannot contain myself. I must say that I have kept my mouth shut all of this time in hopes that you would come to your senses and claim my heart before this ridiculous arrangement between my parents and the Pines came to a head, but I will keep quiet no longer, sir.”

“Excuse me?” the archbishop gasped, wide-eyed.

“Not you, sir,” Zoe clarified.

The crowd began backing away, giving Rachel space to make her own declaration. Chris noted she indeed was not staring at the archbishop as she spoke. She was staring at a very flustered Duke Bruce of Greenwood.

“Miss Nichols,” the Duke stopped her, “Please. I kept quiet only because I am so much older than young Pine. My vibrancy has faded. I thought it best to leave you to someone more suited for you—“

“No one is more suited for me than you are, sir,” Rachel insisted. “I thought I had made myself quite clear when I spoke to you at the Pine’s party earlier this week, but apparently I was mistaken.”

The Duke looked at her hopelessly, “Please, my dear Miss Nichols. I am not good enough…”

“You are perfect,” she insisted, “You are who I choose. You are who I want. Will you break my heart and refuse me?”

His tenuous resolve clearly crumbling, the Duke reached out and brushed his fingers across her cheek. “I could not dream of willingly causing you pain.”

“Then marry me,” she demanded.

The Duke smiled softly, “You’re such a willful young woman. How will I ever keep up with you?”

“You are not so old, Uncle,” Karl assured him.

The Duke nodded toward him, thankfully.

“No. I guess I am not. Well then.” He looked Rachel in the eye and asked, “Will you do me the honor of marrying me, young Rachel?”

“Nothing would make me happier,” she responded before throwing herself into his arms.

“Is every Sunday this eventful around here?” Archbishop Abrams asked.

“No, sir,” John answered with a grin, “Not usually.”

“Well,” the archbishop shrugged, “Since my sermon seems doubly redundant now, what say we have a double wedding?”

Chris turned to Zach, “What do you think? Is it too soon?”

Zach pulled him into another kiss before answering, “Are you joking? I’ve been waiting over twenty years for this.”

Chris laughed.  
***  



	6. The Happily Ever After

Once again, the usually silent and stately Pine household was overflowing with the cacophony of guests and music. Chris was hidden out on the small veranda at the side of the house, not so alone. The sun was high in the afternoon sky and the light it gave danced through the leaves of the surrounding foliage, bathing Rachel’s face in ever-shifting patterns of light.

“Well, Christopher,” she’d had an unwavering grin on her face since the spontaneous morning weddings had taken place, “It seems it all worked out in the end.”

“That it did, Duchess Greenwood,” he replied coyly. “I couldn’t think of a happier ending for this tale of woeful wooing.”

Rachel laughed. “It’s truly amazing how at ease you’ve grown with me since your task of winning my heart was laid to rest. I would almost think we had always been close friends.”

Chris watched her seriously for a moment before replying, “We have, Rachel. Always. I’m sorry I let that slip away from us for so long. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t remember the time we spent together as children.”

Her smile softened and she reached up to touch one of the small blue flowers in her hair.

“Forget-me-nots,” she murmured, “You remembered them.”

Chris’ smile widened.

“I hope we can be close friends again, now that we’re not threatening one another’s happiness,” she continued.

Chris reached for her hand and raised it to his lips, kissing her knuckles chastely.

“Now that I can finally speak to you like a normal human being again, I would say our friendship has a very good chance of blossoming.”

“Am I interrupting something?” Zach’s voice echoed across the veranda.

The two friends turned to face the new arrival, smiling.

“Not at all,” Rachel answered, giving Chris’ hand one last squeeze before dropping it, “I was just about to go find my husband.”

She approached Zach and leaned up to kiss his cheek before disappearing.

“She seems incredibly happy,” Zach noted as he approached Chris.

“She is in love,” Chris responded, “It appears to have that effect on people.”

Zach grinned at him.

“If you’re so happy,” Zach began to ask, snaking his arms around Chris and pulling their bodies flush together, “then why are you out on this veranda hiding again?”

“It’s my favorite spot on the entire property,” Chris mumbled before kissing Zach. “I was hoping you would find me here and I could teach you to love it too.”

Zach raised an eyebrow; his warm eyes twinkled in the dancing sunlight.

“You look perfect right now,” Chris told him.

“Speak for yourself,” Zach replied, leaning in to kiss Chris more passionately.

“Did you really think I began to want to marry Rachel?” Chris asked when they parted, “Is that really why you pulled away from me like you did?”

“It is,” Zach admitted, “Obviously I was mistaken.”

“Quite,” Chris agreed.

“How much of my happiness do I owe to Karl and John,” Zach asked.

Chris chuckled, “Quite a lot of it, actually.”

“You’ve always found it difficult to do anything of your own free will,” Zach pointed out, “Not without some gentle prodding… I’m impressed you three kept it so secret from me though.”

“If we had waited a few days more to spring our plan into action, I don’t doubt for a moment that you would have figured out exactly what we were up to,” Chris told him. “Don’t think we pulled one over on the shrewd writer because we are expertly cunning. Rather, we pulled one over on our poor friend who was blackmailed into suffering alone through supposedly unrequited love in order to send his heart’s desire into the arms of another… you were a bit distracted by the things on your mind.”

Zach pressed his face against Chris’ then, kissing Chris’ cheek. He squeezed Chris in a tight embrace.

“I’m so sorry I was so blind,” Chris whispered into Zach’s ear. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize.”

“Don’t,” Zach stopped him. “There’s nothing to apologize for. You realized in time. That is all that matters.”

Chris patted Zach’s back before stepping out of his embrace.

“Come on,” he said. Grabbing Zach’s hand in his, he dragged him back into the house.

“You want to go back into the party?” Zach asked incredulously.

Chris grinned and flashed him an almost feral look.

“Not at all,” he answered.

Instead of heading back to the double wedding reception, Chris dragged Zach across the house, much like he had done a few days prior. Only, this time, instead of entering the library, Chris dragged Zach up the nearest staircase and across the upper floor of the house to his bedroom.

“Chris,” Zach stared wide-eyed.

Zach had not been in Chris’ bedroom since they were children, but little had changed. The room was huge and full of natural light. The balcony doors were thrown open, welcoming the fresh air and allowing the flow of music from the party to waft up to them.

“We’ve been married for almost four hours now,” Chris informed him. “I think it’s high time we got naked and consummated it.”

Zach threw back his head laughing uproariously.

“Christopher Pine!” he exclaimed, “You randy devil!”

“Yes,” Chris agreed, beginning to remove his Sunday best.

Zach stopped laughing and stared as Chris’ fingers steadily worked the buttons of his coat.

“Right then,” Zach breathed out as he went to work on his own buttons.

Chris was already removing his jacket and folding it across a chair. He approached Zach, taking over the task of removing his coat for him.

“You know,” Chris whispered as he slid the coat off of Zach’s shoulders, “I used to get hard when you made up those stories for me in the field.”

“Really?” Zach asked, voice uneven.

“Really,” Chris licked his lips nervously. He laid the jacket on the same chair and began work on Zach’s shirt.

“I’m pretty sure now it wasn’t the story at all though,” Chris further confessed.

“It was our fingers,” Zach told him, “They way that we brushed them against one another.”

Chris grinned, “You felt it too.”

Zach nodded.

“I had no idea.”

“I know,” Zach assured him and he began unbuttoning Chris’ shirt.

“The other day when we were leaving Leonard’s, it almost happened again,” Chris said.

Zach chuckled, “My aren’t you in the confessing mood. Should we get John up here to absolve you of these sins?”

“John’s not invited to this,” Chris mumbled as he pushed Zach’s shirt off his shoulders unceremoniously. It crumpled in a pile at their feet.

“What happened when we were leaving Leonard’s?” Zach asked, pushing Chris’ shirt off to join his on the floor.

Chris was busy staring at Zach’s chest, the defined lines in pale skin, dark hairs contrasting. He mapped it with his fingers before trailing one hand behind Zach until it rested on the small of his back.

“You touched me here as we walked down the street,” Chris answered softly, pulling Zach forward so that their skin was touching.

“I’ll remember that for future reference then,” Zach commented before leaning in to kiss Chris.

The sensation of their lips sliding together was amplified by the feel of their naked torsos touching and their hands roaming across warm skin.

“I need more skin,” Chris breathed against Zach’s lips.

Zach agreed.

They kept falling against one another as they each tried to remove one another’s trousers, shoes and socks. At one point, Chris almost crashed to the ground trying to remove his trousers before his shoes. Despite their laughter, they managed to free themselves from the offensive garments so they were standing in nothing but their tented underwear.

“How does this work now?” Chris asked, cheeks tinged pink.

“Well,” Zach responded, “I’m pretty sure we remove our underwear, get onto the bed, and have a truly salacious good time…”

“Which consists of what exactly?”

“Inserting tab A into slot B?” Zach asked in answer.

Chris snorted. “I know the basic mechanics, thank you. I do remember something about lubrication being necessary.”

Zach grinned. “Reading all those dirty novels really paid off when we were growing up, didn’t it?”

Chris smirked.

“I have what we need in the drawer beside the bed,” he responded.

The look of pure mirth that crossed Zach’s features caused Chris to blush.

“You use lube often, do you?”

“Shut up before I decide to put my clothes back on and return to the party,” Chris warned him.

Zach reached for Chris and pulled him close once again.

“That’s the emptiest threat I have ever heard,” Zach told him, nuzzling Chris’ jaw.

“Yes, it is,” Chris sighed.

Zach’s voice rumbled warmly against Chris’ skin, “Let’s get on the bed and get to it.”

“It?” Chris teased.

“Consummating our marriage,” Zach’s voice dipped low.

“How?” Chris continued coyly.

“You know very well how,” Zach answered, biting Chris’ clavicle.

“I want you to say how,” Chris gasped.

“However you want, Christopher,” Zach growled, “Just get naked and on the bed before I make you come right here.”

Chris shivered. He pulled Zach’s head up so he could kiss him deeper than before, more forcefully.

He left Zach at the foot of the bed and opened the bedside drawer. He retrieved a container of lubricant, then shucked his underwear and climbed onto the bed.

“Get over here,” he called to Zach.

Zach dropped his own underwear into the growing clothing pile on the floor and climbed into the bed, kneeling between Chris’ feet.

“God help me,” Zach sighed, “You just get more and more beautiful the more of you I see.”

“The same goes for you,” Chris replied, staring hungrily as Zach’s long, naked frame. The muscles in Zach’s thighs rippled as he shifted on the bed. The dark hair Chris was falling in love with across Zach’s chest tapered down into a trail down his stomach. It ended in a thatch of equally dark curls surrounding the base of Zach’s cock. His hard, perfectly arched cock.

“Come here,” Chris commanded. “I want to touch you.”

Zach slid up Chris’ body, holding himself above Chris so they had room to touch one another.

Chris didn’t waste any time exploring now and went straight for Zach’s cock.

Zach shivered as Chris wrapped his fingers around it, squeezing lightly.

“The weight of it feels so different when it’s not your own,” he marveled.

Zach huffed out a small laugh.

“Let me see,” he said. Resting the weight of his body on his one shaky hand, he reached the free one in between them to wrap around Chris’ erection.

Zach’s fingers were slightly more slender than Chris’ and it made them feel completely different from the way Chris’ own hand fit around his cock. Chris’ nerves tingled in a way they never did when he touched himself.

“Oh God,” Chris gasped, “How are you holding yourself up off me. I would’ve collapsed on you as soon as you touched me.”

Zach groaned, “It’s not easy.”

“I’ve got an idea. Get up a second,” Chris nudged him.

Zach released Chris’ cock and sat back up on his haunches. Chris let him go.

“Come next to me,” he urged.

As Zach moved to lie down beside him, Chris turned onto his side so he could face Zach.

“If we lay down like this we don’t have to worry about falling on one another and we can both touch easier,” Chris explained.

“You’re a genius,” Zach sighed before kissing Chris. He mirrored Chris’ position on the bed and then immediately took Chris’ cock into his hand again.

Chris moaned as Zach’s fingers wrapped around him.

“Good?” Zach asked.

Chris nodded.

He reached out to touch Zach again. Once his fingers were wrapped firmly around Zach’s cock, he tentatively stroked. Zach groaned something unintelligible before licking his way into Chris’ mouth. They alternatively stroked one another as they continued to kiss.

When they broke apart to breathe, Chris gasped, “Nothing’s ever felt this good. I’m sure.”

Zach grunted in agreement.

“Where’s the lubricant?” Zach breathed against Chris’ lips.

“On the bed behind me,” Chris answered, mouthing at Zach’s stubbled chin.

Zach reached behind him. He pulled the container over Chris and dropped it between them. With some effort, he managed to get some in his hand.

“Give me your hand,” Zach instructed. He spread some of the gel onto Chris’ open palm before reaching for Chris’ cock again.

This time, when they touched one another, their strokes were easier.

“Fuck,” Chris moaned. “How did we ever go so long without doing this?”

Zach shook his head, “Not sure.”

“We were complete idiots,” Chris scoffed.

Zach agreed.

“This is going to be embarrassingly brief,” Chris managed to grunt.

Zach just nodded, their foreheads resting together. A few more pulls and Chris was coming between them, gasping Zach’s name.

“So gorgeous,” Zach groaned, jerking his hips toward Chris once more. Then Zach was coming too. Chris stroked him through it, until Zach was gasping for him to stop. Chris released Zach’s softening cock and rested his hand on Zach’s hip.

“That was amazing,” Zach sighed, nuzzling closer to Chris.

“Really amazing,” Chris concurred. He trailed his slick fingers through the mess they’d made and traced then across Zach’s inner thigh, earning a shiver in response.

“What are you doing, Chris?”

“I want to try something,” he answered vaguely.

“I know this is new,” Zach warned, “but you’re going to have to give me a little time before I can get it up again.”

Chris pressed his lips to Zach’s and smiled.

“That sounds like a challenge to me.”

He felt Zach smile in response.

“Challenge accepted, then,” Chris told him, trailing his sticky wet fingers down toward Zach’s knee.

“Can you give me more of that lubricant,” Chris asked, wiping his hand on a clean area of blanket before offering it up to Zach. “I wanna start fresh with this.”

Zach looked amusedly at Chris before complying. Chris leaned in and kissed him again once his fingers were newly slick. While he licked Zach’s lower lip, Chris reached his hand down between Zach’s legs again, behind his balls. He let out a frustrated grunt.

“Lay down on your back and spread your legs, okay?” Chris asked.

Zach nodded and complied.

Chris propped himself up on his free arm, brushing his clean fingers through Zach’s hair, so he could kiss him. Then Chris reached between Zach’s legs again, behind his balls, pressing his slick fingers into the cleft of Zach’s ass.

Zach moaned into Chris’ mouth as Chris stroked his fingers in search of his opening. When Chris’ fingers rubbed across the tight ring of muscles, Zach moaned louder.

Chris traced circles around the ring of muscles and Zach tensed, writhing on the bed. Chris pulled his hand away.

“More lube,” Chris gasped when he stopped kissing Zach.

With shaky hands, Zach squirted a little more lube into Chris’ hand and Chris resumed touching Zach’s entrance. Tentatively, he pushed the tip of his finger into Zach’s body. Zach shouted and clamped down.

“You’ve got to relax,” Chris breathed, nuzzling Zach’s jaw. “I can’t do any more if you tense up like that.”

Zach nodded tightly.

“It’s difficult,” he gasped.

“I won’t hurt you,” Chris reassured him, mouth twisting into a smirk, “I can’t make you shout anymore if you don’t release the tension though.”

Zach breathed out laughter and his muscles relaxed a little.

“Come on, baby,” Chris pleaded.

Zach moaned, “Kiss me.”

Chris leaned down and licked his way into Zach’s mouth. He pressed Zach into the bed with the force of the kiss and felt the last bit of his tension ease away.

Chris pressed his finger further into Zach’s body then, knuckle-by-knuckle, until it was all the way inside. Zach felt so hot and tight around him, even relaxed, and Chris moved his finger carefully, exploring.

“Feel good?” he asked.

Zach squeezed his eyes shut and nodded jerkily, trying not to moan.

“I wanna hear you, Zach. Don’t hold back.”

Zach stopped biting his lip and released a deep whine.

“More please,” he asked.

“You ready for another finger?”

“Yes,” Zach groaned as Chris pulled out.

Carefully, Chris began pressing two fingers into Zach. Zach shivered as they entered him.

“Christopher,” he moaned helplessly.

Suddenly, Chris noticed Zach was half hard again. Chris’ own erection was back completely.

“What do you want?” Chris growled into Zach’s ear. “Tell me, Zach. Please.”

Chris twisted his fingers and pressed, causing Zach’s whole body to jerk.

“There!” he gasped, “Again!”

Chris complied, dragging his fingers across the spot again. Zach screamed.

“I need more,” Zach gasped.

“Another finger?”

“Yes,” Zach answered.

Chris pulled out again, pushing three fingers in this time.

“You okay?” he asked. The resistance to three fingers seemed tenfold compared to the resistance he fought pushing in two.

Zach just nodded erratically.

Chris leaned down and sucked on Zach’s neck.

“Press there,” Zach gasped again when Chris’ fingers dragged across the spot from before.

Chris did as he was told and Zach yelled out again. His body trembled. Chris noticed Zach’s cock was completely hard and leaking at the tip.

“God you look delicious right now,” Chris moaned into Zach’s neck.

Zach gripped Chris’ arm, urging him to move his fingers.

Chris’ own cock jumped as Zach trembled again making Chris whine embarrassingly loud.

“Zach are you ready? Can I?” Chris asked.

Zach nodded. “Please. Want you to.”

Chris removed his fingers and kissed Zach before, on shaky limbs, climbing on top of Zach and in between his legs.

“I need a pillow,” Chris told him. When Zach passed it to him, Chris pulled Zach off the bed by his ass with one arm and shoved the pillow beneath him.

“Easier access,” he explained. Zach just nodded.

Chris grabbed the bottle of lubricant again and coated his palm so he could slick up his cock. Once he was covered in gel, he lined himself up at Zach’s opening and slowly pushed his head into the tight channel.

He stopped when the head was buried inside. Trembling, he looked down at Zach.

“Okay?” he asked.

Both of them seemed to be having a hard time breathing at the moment. Zach barely nodded.

“Wait,” he gasped out. Chris went still.

After a few moments, Zach nodded again, “Okay.”

Chris huffed out a strangled breath and leaned forward, pushing himself a little bit deeper.

“Wait, wait!” Zach groaned.

Chris stopped moving until Zach gave him the signal to start again. They continued at that pace until Chris was buried completely inside Zach.

“God help me, I think I might be dying,” Chris moaned.

Zach couldn’t speak in return. Instead, he gripped Chris’ hips with bruising fingers and urged him to move.

Slowly, Chris pulled back a little, trembling with pleasure, before pushing back into Zach. Chris repeated the motion again, pulling out a little bit further. And again further.

“More,” Zach managed to breathe out, squeezing Chris’ hips.

Chris thrust faster. Zach let out a loud moan and reached for his own cock. He began stroking himself in time with Chris’ thrusts.

It didn’t take long for Chris’ orgasm to build. He came hard inside Zach. He moaned Zach’s name as he rode it out. Zach followed, coming in hot strips across his hand and stomach, shouting incoherently. They both trembled as the aftershocks of their orgasms rippled through their bodies. Chris pulled out carefully, his cock beginning to soften, and he collapsed beside Zach, still panting. The two of them lay there as they caught their breath.

“Fuck!” Chris barked, when he could think enough to speak.

“That was…” Zach trailed off.

“The best thing I’ve ever felt in my life,” Chris finished for him.

“Absolutely,” Zach agreed, rolling over to pull Chris into his arms and kiss him.

“We’re covered in quite a few disgusting substances right now,” Chris whispered, smiling, as Zach continued to kiss him lazily.

“We are,” Zach concurred. “Part of me is grossed out by that, but an even bigger part of me feels incredibly smug about it.”

Chris laughed. “I know!”

He managed to extract himself from Zach’s grip long enough to cross the room to his en suite bathroom. He returned with a damp cloth, climbed back into the bed and wiped Zach clean, then himself.

“Why doesn’t anyone tell you how gloriously filthy marriage is?” Zach mused.

“Maybe it’s not for most people,” Chris answered. “Clearly they’re doing it wrong.”

Chris dropped the cloth, along with the messiest sheet, off the edge of the bed.

Zach laughed and squeezed Chris to him.

Chris managed to snake his arms around Zach in return so he could squeeze him as well.

“Remind me to send gigantic gift baskets of wonderful things to Karl and John, will you?” Zach sighed before sucking on Chris’ neck.

Chris agreed that he would. “We have to sleep first though. I can’t possibly move after all that.”

Zach’s lips spread into a smile against Chris’ skin. Chris pulled his head back so he could look at Zach’s face.

“If you keep smiling against me like that, I’ll never let us wear clothing again,” he told Zach. “I will always associate your smile with this afternoon.”

Zach brushed his fingers through Chris’ short hair and smiled wider.

“What incentive is that for me to stop? I think it’s obvious I prefer you naked against me now,” Zach responded.

“True,” Chris mumbled, leaning in to kiss Zach sweetly again.

As their lips parted, Zach reached down and entwined his fingers with Chris’. He hesitated a moment before speaking.

“It’s been too long now and I can’t remember enough of the details to continue our last story from where we left off,” Zach whispered, “I think it’s time I made up a new one anyway…”

Chris stared at him, overcome with affection.

“Well,” he choked out, “A new story sounds like it’s exactly what we need now. I think I have enough strength left to compose a song.”

“Good.”

Chris watched as Zach settled into the bed beside him. Their heads rested facing one another on the pillows and their legs slotted together, tangled. Chris pulled his hand from Zach’s long enough to yank one of the folded blankets at the foot of the bed over their bodies, so they wouldn’t catch a chill. When they were covered, he slotted his fingers right back between Zach’s.

As the party continued downstairs and the sun shown across them, Chris and Zach lay together. Quietly, Zach told the story of two men, best friends, growing up side-by-side in a distant kingdom. Chris hummed along, reinventing the melody that the orchestra was performing downstairs until it was the perfect theme for two people who, despite all the clues and obvious cues, didn’t seem to know that they were in love.  



End file.
